Saturday, May 29, 2010

I visited cemeteries yesterday to place flowers on the graves of loved ones. I know they are not there, but out of respect and because I loved them, I want to keep their memories alive. However, yesterday's visit revealed a truth that I had not comprehended fully. I have lost all of my family of origin over the last seven years. I am the only remaining member of my original family. I lost my father on Father's day, 2003; my mother February, 2006; and my precious younger sister in February, 2010. There is a loneliness in my heart that I cannot describe today.

My parents were in their eighties and had lived long, full lives. Their bodies were worn out and they were ready to end their earthly trek for their heavenly homes. But I have a harder time accepting the loss of my sister. The past few hours I want to shake my fist at God and cry, "What were you thinking?" But in my heart, I know he never wanted a world where cancer and disease took lives much too early. It was man's choice to sell out to Satan, the father of lies who seeks to steal, kill and destroy all lives that can be destroyed. However, our Lord told us to not fear the one who could destroy the body, and I rejoice that her body is all that he was able to destroy.

It was during her illness that I heard a message by Andy Stanley that so clearly explained the wonderful gift of salvation that God provided. Should He never heal another body, release a captive from sin's hold, provide us with any physical need, what He has provided far outweighs all of that. He took upon himself every sin that I have or ever will commit and restored me to fellowship with Him because He loved everyone of us so much.

I have spent a few hours feeling sorry for "me"...but it is not about "ME". Death did not leave me alone. I have a faithful husband who hugs me when I grieve, beautiful children (who chose terrific mates) who are wonderful parents to my grandchildren. I have friends who would draw around me if I were left without family. I have a comfortable home, a soft bed, too much food, and freedom to pray and worship my God openly (for now anyway). So now, I am counting blessings, not losses. And one day in the not too distant future, I will see all of my family of origin kneeling at the feet of Jesus, adoring our Lord! And just possibly, I will hear my Lord's voice from the eastern sky calling me to join Him in the clouds. Come quickly, Lord Jesus!