Goodbye 2010

Looking back at this past year leaves me with mixed feelings. The loss of my sister left me the only survivor of my birth family. Some days, I feel the loneliness of that role, especially when I want to pick up the phone and share a joy or a sorrow.

The joy I experience in volunteer cooking at our church leaves me feeling God still has a purpose for my life. The month in Alaska was like a vacation from the everyday cares of living life. The peace of God was so evident there. I pray that I will be able to do something similar in 2011.

Our family experienced the joy of being together this Christmas. However, because of the diagnosis of cystic fibrosis, there was an undercurrent of grief always present.

The misunderstandings in relationships often brings tears and regrets. Why I cannot express love without attempting to control is a mystery. Certainly, I am not God, nor do I know what he is doing in the lives of those I love. I caught a glimpse of Him recently - a glimpse of His love. If He really loves my family that much, can I not trust Him to do what is best for them? I believe if there is true love, then there will be trust. My prayer for 2011 is that I will learn to pray, believing God, not doubting, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:6-7